Cleaning My Apartment
Okay, today there’s no time for a trip out anywhere as I have to clean my apartment and it’ll take all day and all of the night to quote Ray Davies. My parents are coming to town tomorrow and my apartment is kind of a wreck. I’ve been so busy with this blog, I haven’t had time to clean it since I started it back in February and it wasn’t in great shape back then! So today’s post will be some before shots and then a trip around my apartment after it’s all cleaned up. Hazel!
Okay, here's the "before" photos. My coffee table area is a real mess. Shit's piled up on it and the ash tray's need cleaning. There's also dustballs underneath and the table needs cleaning. And there's that stupid Beatles Anthology that didn't sell.
Here's a troubled area over in the corner next to my futon. Stacks of crap are everywhere and I need to throw some of this stuff out.
My writing area under my loft bed is a mess and its very dusty.
I don't think I've straightened up this cabinet area in my kitchen in years and it's definitely out of hand.
This part of the kitchen is especially disturbing. There's a buildup of magazines, newspapers and junk that I've ignored for years. Time to clean this shit up.
The appliances in here all need a good going over with some cleanser.
Lots of stuff need to be broke down and put together to take out to the recycling bin.
There's dust on the bookcase.
Dirt on the walls.
The bathroom's not too bad, but it could use a little work and those Amy Winehouse pictures definitely need straightening!
Okay, all my cleaning supplies are in place, time to get to work!
Okay, it's a few hours later and I've cleaned the front room. I'm just starting to tackle the problem area in the kitchen and it's a real mess. That phone book is from 2005 to let you know how long I've let this go.
It's crazy, the more I clean, the more stuff seems to be spilling out here. I've been working over five hours now. Time to get something to eat.
This is what I eat when I don't go somewhere for the blog, a big salad from the corner deli. It's a giant salad of mixed greens, carrots, broccoli, snow peas, pasta and chicken cutlet. This is all I eat on my days I don't eat for the blog to balance things out. Can't be eating cheeseburgers every night. Okay, back to work and then it'll be time for the "after" photos.
Alright, I started this at one in the afternoon and it's now 10:30 PM and I'm all done. Quite a day of work, but its paid off. Check out the front room. Everything's dusted, cleaned and back in order and Gumby is resting comfortably on the futon.
Everything's back in place on my coffee table, one of my favorite things in my apartment. It houses my books, magazines and the little tchotchkes and knick-knacks I've collected through the years.
The problematic corner by my futon is all back to normal and I threw a lot of crap out.
My entertainment center is all dusted, polished and straightened up.
And I polished the bookcase with Murphy Oil Soap and you can see the books shining in the wood.
I cleaned my refrigerator which I've ignored for about a year.
There was about an inch of dust on the top of it and now it's all spic and span. Gumby and crew are happy with the new clean environment.
I got all the dirt off of this wall.
And the kitchen area is spotless. This was the hardest part to clean up. I had let it go for a long time and it was a real wreck.
I cleared and straightened up the top cabinets which were a mess and overflowing with junk. I also hung up the Sloppy Joe's Towel from Key West that Al sent me for Christmas.
The microwave and cooking area is all cleaned up and shining like a new dime.
And I cleared out the problematic area that had piles of magazines, newspapers and junk from years of throwing stuff there and ignoring it. It's so nice to have finally cleared this up.
By the time I got to my writing area I was beat, but still managed to dust it and straighten things up a bit. The bathroom was the last place I needed to clean. As I said earlier, it wasn't too bad, but I managed to straighten Amy's photos and clean it a little bit more. Let's go take a look.
Aaaahhhhhh!
Further Reading: Apartment Ratings, Apartment Therapy and Cleaning My Apartment: The Musical.
Lately I get the funniest feeling,
And the whole thing starts again.
Surprise link, click on it...I dare you
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Bonus Photos From Danny The Freelancer!
Danny noticed that the CBBM mutation from yesterday resembled Ben Quadinaros, the Podracer from Star Wars and sent in this "Separated at Birth" photo comparing the two. They do look alike, but as I had to tell Danny, I had never heard of Ben Quadinaros, as I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies. A fact that amazes a lot of people!
And yesterday's post about the Empire State Building inspired Danny to write in about this King Kong statue he owns. Here's what Danny says about this prized possession: "I bought this King Kong Statue from a junkie on the L.E.S. in the 80's. It's from the 1976 Dino De Laurentis movie. De Laurentiis had over 100 of these scowling foot and a half statues custom made for cast, crew, movie writers and critics."
"Its on a black wooden base with a brass plaque that reads: “Dino De Laurentiis Presents KING KONG.” Very cool, thanks for sending these in, Danny!
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Bonus Comment Photo From Jaws!
Jaws the Cabbie sent in this photo to illustrate his comment above. Here's what he said in his email: "Here's what I'm gonna need for the things growing behind my toilet." Yikes! Note to self: Never use the bathroom at Jaws' place!
Cardboard Box Man, Cleaning Day, apartment Posted on Thursday, March 29, 2012 at 10:06AM
Reader Comments (35)
Does your tv work now ?
great to see casa wombacher where these posts originate from. the place looks great! and i loved danny the freealancers king kong photos! will your parents be on the blog?
Nice job Marty! (That's the way to do it. Money for nothing. Chicks for free.)
I've been doing the same thing. Earlier I came across those Rolling Stone in memoriam issues for Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison. And yesterday, I found George McGovern campaign literature.
home sweet (former) home. : )
Relax and have a beer, that's what got my place clean. Never clean without a beer. After you have three or four it's amazing how great they taste, even better then before. The work gets done, the beer is drunk, time to get more.
@GENE: No. I'm thinking of making it into a fish aquarium.
@Bobby D: Yes, tune in tomorrow to see some shots of my mom and dad in New York City!
@Tom: Thanks! And it is amazing the stuff you find while cleaning up! I found a couple hilarious photos of myself from about a decade ago I'll post in Saturday's Blooper Reel.
@wendylouwho: All is clean in 2R! Thanks again for getting me into the building all those years ago!
@Mykola Mick Demetiuk: I didn't have any during the cleaning process, but had plenty after the work was done!
Well, I'm just shocked .... SHOCKED, I tell you! I thought that everyone in NYC had a 2,500 square foot apartment just like the characters on "Friends" :) :) BTW, love the Amy Winehouse tribute in the bathroom.
Look at you bucking for your merit badge in cleaning.
As to the surprise link -- who wants a job in the Returns Department after all of those "Free 10-Day Home Trials"?
Excellent cleaning job, Murphy's oil is very good and did you remove the books to clean the shelf? It looks like you did because I don't see dust in the corners,,,. Monkees 45 on coffee table, what song?
Aww, your place didn't look all that bad (although your kitchen looks a little like a jail cell on Rikers Island) compared to MY place...I keep waiting for the Department of Homeland Security to land on me with both feet for trying to grow ebola in my toilet. One of these days I'm gonna have to have Merry Maid send some girls over in biohazard suits and equipped with a firehose to give my place a good going over...(better yet, maybe they should bring a flamethrower). Swifer dusters and Bounty towels just ain't gonna cut it when it comes to some of the things breeding under my bed and especially behind my toilet, I'm gonna need something a bit more heavy duty to take care of those scary fuckers....( check your e-mail and see what I have in mind).
Marty, I hate cleaning the bathroom, but then again that's why I have a girlfriend Hehhe,
( I hope she's not reading this )
I love Murphy's Oil Soap for wood. My whole apartment has Parquet wood floors, it smells good & makes the wood shine. Is that a working fireplace? Or do you stick candles in there when you try to beer & dine a date. You definitely have a Manhattan writer's apartment.
My King Kong Statue looks great in all his glory
Awesome. Now, could you clean mine? I've got beer and...uh, a frozen steak.
@roadsidewonders: Ha! I hear you about the apartments on Friends. I only watched about two minutes of that show in my life. At the time I was living in a tiny one-room, cockroach-riddled apartment in the Beacon Hotel. I fllipped the TV on and there they were prancing around in a loft that only Donald Trump could afford! I quickly changed channels! That job in the Returns Department would be a bit of a "sticky wicket!"
@Al: I did remove the books and the whole bookcase is nice and clean! That Monkees 45 is one Rhino sent as a bonus when I bought a remastered Monkees CD from them. It's an alternate take of "Daydream Believer" back with two unreleased tracks: "I Didn't Know You Had It In You Sally," and "You're A Real Ball of Fire." I've never heard it because I don't have a turntable!
@Jaws: Wow, sounds like you need a heavy duty exterminator! I'll go check my email soon!
@Danny the Freelancer: You're in big trouble if your girlfriend reads that comment! And yeah, the fireplace is a working one! I have fires almost every night in the winter in here, it's great! Thanks for the bonus cool bonus photos!
@Goggla: I'll happily clean out the beer and frozen steak! As for the rest of the apartment, I'll ask my mom if she feels like tackling it, she's a much better cleaner than me!
EXCELLENT! The BEST lookin' woman on the internet is comin' to town.....YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!
But, you know, if she's like most moms, she WILL spot that ONE thing that you missed cleaning.
But that's cool, 'cuz THAT's what moms are for. Have a GREAT day with your folks buddy. See 'ya!
@roadsidewonders beat me to the 10-day return joke...damn you roadsidewonders!! Looks great Marty - a clean place always feels amazing, the trick is of course keeping that way. You did miss a perfect opportunity for a final "And one more place to clean out..." then cut to open fridge chock full o' bud tallboys! But I guess that's kind of a given anyway...Nothing better then a beer after hard work.
@DrBOP: That's right, she'll be on here tomorrow! Luckily my folks don't have a computer so they missed the Kings Highway post! Thanks for the nice words, DrBOP!
@Spike: I had planned to do the fridge joke till that damned Cardboard Box Man came in and scared the shit out of me! Damn him and his various mutations!
You failed to mention to everyone that you did all this cleaning in a French maid's outfit.
Throw that CRT TV out. If you get back in the black, you can pick up a cheap LCD tv and an antenna for ~$150.
No cable bills and good for background noise. (Not that you care, but it will be HDTV as well.) You ay say why bother, but you will get NBC,ABC,CBS, FOX, about 4 PBS stations, WB channel 9, 11, Manhattan community TV,etc. Everything else there is Hulu, netflix, and even more dubious methods. (And again, not that you care, but decent for sports.)
Just thought I'd mention it. (BTW, cable TV is trying to end free air broadcast TV. UFB.)
When I was living alone in Astoria (where I had a very nice affordable one-bedroom with a BIG kitchen), my parents came to visit. My mom was appalled to find DUST on my stove. Hey, she's a lousy cook and so am I! Hope the parental units have a great time!
@csp: I just assumed everyone took it for granted about my cleaning outfit! And I appreciate the TV advice, but I haven't turned that thing on since last year. It broke, I cancelled my cable and watch everything on the internet. My computer screen is bigger than my TV anyway!
@Katrink: Too funny about the dusty oven! I'm sure my folks and I will have a great time, thanks!
Marty! Your appartment is just like the Austrian flowerbed Alps! Very fresh lol..what are those tube things besides your tv??
I love the scent of Murphy Oil Soap. To my mind, it's second only to the new LP smell and patchouli on the right neck (unfortunately, it is often worn on the wrong ones). Anyhoozers, congratulations on a clean well done - your place looks great! Is that a new shower curtain?
I am so glad you are in the building as are my 'rents and son!
I still say you need to get some reno work done while the other apartments are being redone but you won't listen to me!
Good job, Womby!! I had bets on wether you'd
Get half way through and give up. That's what
I usually do, especially when there are beers in
The fridge! Good to see PeeWee is still perched
On the coffee table!
Place looks good to me! Lets Party! Sorry i've been gone......My Dad has some health issues and i've been hangin out in in medical facilities! Dad comes first.....but after i get him back on his feet i'm comin to NYC! Dude....look out Motherfucker!
I like your refridgerator door...I remember spending hours in your kitchen drinking budweiser and reading your refridge door. Tell your folks I said hi .
I don't think your place was too bad (except maybe the wall). Love your kitchen sink! My place is almost always a mess - I generally subscribe to the Quentin Crisp school of housework, & leave the damn dust alone, but if I do give in to cleaning, I use Old English Lemon Oil for woodwork . It does a very nice job.
Have a great time with your parents ...
Hooooray for a clean house!!
@Ruben Dutch: Ha! Fresh as a flowerbed for now, for sure! Those tube things are heaters, which won't be in use soon as spring and summer aproaches!
@Biff: I agree with you on those scents and yes, it is a new shower curtain. One that won't be torn down anytime soon!
@WendyLouWho: I'll always owe you bigtime for getting me into this big dysfunctional family on 16th Street!
@Clacky: Good to hear from you back here in the comments section, mate! Pee Wee is right here waiting for your return visit!
@Professor Dungpie: Really sorry to hear about your dad, hope things work out for the best! Tell him he's got someone in NYC rooting for him! Looking forward to you getting your ass out here, Motherfucker! Hurry up before I have to get a job again!
@tehennessey: I'll tell them you said hi! We were telling old stories tonight of our old exploits. "Thought you were in a ditch!" Ha ha ha!
@onemorefoldedsuset: It was a lot worse than it looked. I cleared out five bags of garbage and countless piles for the recycling bin! Thanks and it's always fun with my parents!
@Meleah: Hooray indeed! Now I can wait another five years to clean it again!
Good Job Martster..
I was cleaning yesterday too...
BUT i see no progress.. haha
hope ma and pa have a great visit with you!
Great job 'Mr. Domestic!'
(wasn't that a Charles Bronson film?)
Looking forward to Tripping with Mom and Dad the next few days!
Hey Marty,
did I ever tell you that you're my new best friend? I'm gonna have a house-cleaning party in the near future. You don't need to wear a french maid outfit, just bring some of the leftover cleaning utensils. There'll be nude women (lots of them) and way too much beer in the refrigerator. Full speed ahead into a clean 21st century is my new motto.
Sip Ahoy!
@Gidget: Sometimes it's hard to make a dent when you're cleaning! My folks got in last night and we had a great time together!
@"Boris": Ha ha ha! I think it may have been! I'll tell my folks you said hi, Daddio!
@Uncle Waltie: Nude Women and beer? What time should I be there? Sip Ahoy, my friend!
I don't know how you Manhattan people live like that. Oh wait, I'm a Manhattan person myself. Non New Yorkers might blanche at this but Marty's place is like a normal archetypal downtown hole in the wall. Good of you to show the world how we do it here.
@legitimate beef: This is how we live and I love it and I know you do too!
marty, you are freakin awesome dude.
@glamma: Thank you so much! We've never met, but I feel like I know you from your great comments at EV Grieve and I think you are awesome as well!