trippingwithmarty - (Almost) Live, From New York City!

Entries in Tiffany's (1)

Thursday

Apr192012

Dueling Toilets: Phase II—In Which Doris Gets Her Oats

Okay, a couple of weeks ago, I went to what was reportedly the best public bathroom and the worst public bathroom in New York City. It got a lot of response and people have told me about other bathrooms I should check out, so I thought I’d try this “Dueling Toilets” thing one more time. Goggla told me that the best public restroom she had ever been to was at Tiffany’s on Fifth Avenue. And several people mentioned the Washington Square Park as being a pretty tacky toilet scene. And so, we’re off on another toilet tour. Oh, and just a warning, if you’re eating lunch or dinner while reading this, you might want to finish it first and then come back, it gets a little gruesome at the end.

I had to kneel down in the first lane of Fifth Avenue to get this shot of Tiffany's and the people in the right of this photo are looking at me like I'm nuts. Hey, I get hit by a speeding cab, I figure it'll really make this blog post interesting!

I've never been inside of Tiffany's before, pretty fancy in here.

I don't think I can afford anything in this case, so let's just move on to our bathroom duties.

Here's the elevator bank, Goggla told me the bathroom's are on the sixth floor. Going up!

There's a little waiting area with fresh flowers and comfortable chairs up here. I think I see the bathroom sign over there.

Yep, here we go, so to speak!

Here's the Men's Room, that's a nice solid wooden door there. I think it's a sign of good toilet times ahead!

And it opens up to a sparkling marble hallway, very impressive!

The urinals are off to the left and they are spotless.

And instead of bathroom stalls with toilets, they have a separate room you go into, let's check this out.

Wow, it's a large marble room with a spotless toilet, very nice indeed!

The sinks are marble and shiny, just like the rest of this bathroom. I think this one surpasses Bryant Park and I declare it the finest public bathroom in New York City! Thanks to Goggla for this toilet tip!

For those about to use Tiffany's public bathroom, I salute you with an obligatory bathroom mirror shot!

Okay, through the miracle of the internet, we're suddenly downtown at the iconic archway in front of Washington Square Park.

Lots of people around the exterior of the center pit of the park and there's a few kids playing inside of it.

Here's a jazz trio playing some tunes for people in the park.

And here's someone just hanging around in the park.

This fellow was looking for someone to play chess with, but sadly I don't know how to play chess. And besides, we need to find the bathroom in the park, we're on duty here!

I think this is the place.

It looks like we've found the Men's Room. If the sign is any indication, I don't have high hopes.

Here's the urinal section, which isn't in too bad of shape, but what I can't capture is the creepiness factor in here. Guys keep coming in and just kind of wander around. Most of them look homeless and/or psycho and even I'm not going to try to snap a photo of them. It feels like a bathroom version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in here. I think the stalls are behind here, let's check them out and get the fuck out of here while we can.

Well, if you have to sit down to do your business in here, I hope you're an exhibitionist because there's no stalls for privacy. it's pretty filthy in here too.

Okay, this is just disgusting. Sorry about this, but it's just part of the job!

Aaaahhhh!

Tiffany’s Men’s Room Overall Ratings:
Smell—A faint hint of flower-fresh room deodorizer.
Ambiance—Elegant, the floors and walls are all sparking light marble and the doors are made of heavy, dark wood.
Force of the flush—Very forceful, no need to double flush here!
Hand washing facilities—Bright, clean marble sinks and hand towels on the shelf above them.
TWM Toilet Rating: Four out of four Ty-D-Bol Men.
Summation: You can have your “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” I’ll gladly take the bathroom at Tiffany’s!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Washington Square Park Men’s Room Overall Ratings:
Smell—Not as bad as you would think, but that’s probably due to the open door.
Ambiance—Creepy, kind of what I imagine the Kings Highway Cinema bathroom is like.
Force of the flush—I'm not sure, I didn’t feel like becoming one with a whole host of germ cells, I didn’t touch anything in there.
Hand washing facilities—Dirty and falling apart.
TWM Toilet Rating: One out of four Ty-D-Bol Men
Summation: The toilet area in a seedy holding tank at a county jail meets a homeless shelter with a very frugal budget.

Further Reading: NY Restroom, boing boing and treehugger.

And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends,
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren.

Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!

--------------------------------------------------

Bonus Album Cover From Tiki Bar Susie!

Tiki Bar Susie sent in this album cover with the title of "Party With Marty!" Too funny, thanks Tiki Bar Susie!

--------------------------------------------------

Bonus Toilet Link and Photo From The Duncester!

The Duncester just sent in this toilet link of toilets around the world and this photo from the link that somewhat mirrors the toilet situation at Washington Square Park. Thanks, Duncester!