Dueling Toilets: Phase II—In Which Doris Gets Her Oats

Okay, a couple of weeks ago, I went to what was reportedly the best public bathroom and the worst public bathroom in New York City. It got a lot of response and people have told me about other bathrooms I should check out, so I thought I’d try this “Dueling Toilets” thing one more time. Goggla told me that the best public restroom she had ever been to was at Tiffany’s on Fifth Avenue. And several people mentioned the Washington Square Park as being a pretty tacky toilet scene. And so, we’re off on another toilet tour. Oh, and just a warning, if you’re eating lunch or  dinner while reading this, you might want to finish it first and then come back, it gets a little gruesome at the end.

I had to kneel down in the first lane of Fifth Avenue to get this shot of Tiffany's and the people in the right of this photo are looking at me like I'm nuts. Hey, I get hit by a speeding cab, I figure it'll really make this blog post interesting!

I've never been inside of Tiffany's before, pretty fancy in here.

I don't think I can afford anything in this case, so let's just move on to our bathroom duties.

Here's the elevator bank, Goggla told me the bathroom's are on the sixth floor. Going up!

There's a little waiting area with fresh flowers and comfortable chairs up here. I think I see the bathroom sign over there.

Yep, here we go, so to speak!

Here's the Men's Room, that's a nice solid wooden door there. I think it's a sign of good toilet times ahead!

And it opens up to a sparkling marble hallway, very impressive!

The urinals are off to the left and they are spotless.

And instead of bathroom stalls with toilets, they have a separate room you go into, let's check this out.

Wow, it's a large marble room with a spotless toilet, very nice indeed!

The sinks are marble and shiny, just like the rest of this bathroom. I think this one surpasses Bryant Park and I declare it the finest public bathroom in New York City! Thanks to Goggla for this toilet tip!

For those about to use Tiffany's public bathroom, I salute you with an obligatory bathroom mirror shot!

Okay, through the miracle of the internet, we're suddenly downtown at the iconic archway in front of Washington Square Park.

Lots of people around the exterior of the center pit of the park and there's a few kids playing inside of it.

Here's a jazz trio playing some tunes for people in the park.

And here's someone just hanging around in the park.

This fellow was looking for someone to play chess with, but sadly I don't know how to play chess. And besides, we need to find the bathroom in the park, we're on duty here!

I think this is the place.

It looks like we've found the Men's Room. If the sign is any indication, I don't have high hopes.

Here's the urinal section, which isn't in too bad of shape, but what I can't capture is the creepiness factor in here. Guys keep coming in and just kind of wander around. Most of them look homeless and/or psycho and even I'm not going to try to snap a photo of them. It feels like a bathroom version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in here. I think the stalls are behind here, let's check them out and get the fuck out of here while we can.

Well, if you have to sit down to do your business in here, I hope you're an exhibitionist because there's no stalls for privacy. it's pretty filthy in here too.

Okay, this is just disgusting. Sorry about this, but it's just part of the job!

Aaaahhhh!

Tiffany’s Men’s Room Overall Ratings:
Smell—A faint hint of flower-fresh room deodorizer.
Ambiance—Elegant, the floors and walls are all sparking light marble and the doors are made of heavy, dark wood.
Force of the flush—Very forceful, no need to double flush here!
Hand washing facilities—Bright, clean marble sinks and hand towels on the shelf above them.
TWM Toilet Rating: Four out of four Ty-D-Bol Men.
Summation: You can have your “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” I’ll gladly take the bathroom at Tiffany’s!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Washington Square Park Men’s Room Overall Ratings:
Smell—Not as bad as you would think, but that’s probably due to the open door.
Ambiance—Creepy, kind of what I imagine the Kings Highway Cinema bathroom is like.
Force of the flush—I'm not sure, I didn’t feel like becoming one with a whole host of germ cells, I didn’t touch anything in there.
Hand washing facilities—Dirty and falling apart.
TWM Toilet Rating: One out of four Ty-D-Bol Men
Summation: The toilet area in a seedy holding tank at a county jail meets a homeless shelter with a very frugal budget.

Further Reading: NY Restroom, boing boing and treehugger.

And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends,
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren.

Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!

--------------------------------------------------

Bonus Album Cover From Tiki Bar Susie!

Tiki Bar Susie sent in this album cover with the title of "Party With Marty!" Too funny, thanks Tiki Bar Susie!

--------------------------------------------------

Bonus Toilet Link and Photo From The Duncester!

The Duncester just sent in this toilet link of toilets around the world and this photo from the link that somewhat mirrors the toilet situation at Washington Square Park. Thanks, Duncester!

--------------------------------------------------

Bonus Jonathan Frid Tribute by Jaws!

Jaws the Cabbie just sent in this tribute cartoon of Dark Shadows star Jonathan Frid who recently passed away. Great work, Jaws, thanks!

The Hat And A One Dollar Hot Dog

The other week when I went to Economy Candy and passed the Essex Street Market and stopped in to see if there was any possible story ideas for future episodes of TWM. As I walked around, I spied a "Barber" sign, but it had a closed sign and said it would reopen in an hour. I made a mental note to check into this place and found out that the place is called, Aminova's Barber Shop. Jeremiah Moss wrote about it back in 2007, worried that it might be vanishing. It's a one chair, one barber shop, which is a rarity, so I thought it would be fun to go there, get a haircut and meet the man behind the barber shop!

Okay, here we are at the subway stop at Delancey street.

And now we're up and on Essex street, the market is just about a block away.

Here it is, The Essex Street Market. It's a big place inside with separate markets, specialty meats, bakeries and fish mongers and that's why I find it's curious that there's a barber in here.

Let's go inside and see what his story is.

Here's the barber shop, it's in the back of the market. Well, this turned out to be a big disappointment. I went in and there's the barber (I assume his last name is Aminova, but I couldn't find it anywhere online) sitting in a chair reading a newspaper. He's an older fellow with gray hair and a big moustache. I walked in and told him I wanted a hair cut and he just grunted at me. Then I asked if I could take some picturs afterwards and talk to him about the barber shop and he didn't like that at all. He half-yelled at me that he didn't like cameras and told me to leave. Well, there's not much you can do in a situation like that except...

Leave. I'm really bummed out, I was hoping he'd be a real character and his shop is cool and he has all kinds of clocks in there. Oh well, time to improvise.

I wandered around the neighborhood and found myself on Ludlow street and remembered that one of my favorite restaurants is just a couple blocks away...

Some call it, El Sombrero...

But I've always called it, the Hat.

And today I'm also calling it a sanctuary to lick my wounds after the disappointment of getting yelled at by the barber of Essex street!

The place just opened up and I'm the only one in here...oh, Gumby's here too!

I decided to have a margarita to dull the sting of the day's disappointment and the lovely Josephine was quick on the draw, love her smile. I feel better already!

Cheers!

Here's the dining room behind the bar. Some of you may remember I came here on the 365 Bar Crawl.

The decor in here is simple and comforting, two sombreros flank a piece of Spanish art on the wall.

As you can see, the place really lives up to its name.

Ketchup alert! I wonder if that's Heinz in those bottles...probably not! (See the "Questionable Link" at the bottom of this post for more ketchup fun!)

I'm still the only customer in here and Josephine and her co-workers seem to be having a meeting at the end of the bar. I'm not sure what it's about because they're speaking Spanish. Maybe they're discussing the crazy man who wandered in with a Gumby bag and is taking pictures everywhere.

And behind the bar, the Virgin Mary gazes lovingly at a bottle of Ashby's Gin. All is well again and the grumpy Barber of Essex street is just a dim memory.

I thanked Josephine and her crew and head out the door.

On my way home, I saw this deli advertising one dollar hot dogs. We had one buck pizza slices the other day, so let's go see what a one dollar hot dog tastes like.

I'm waiting at the counter while this gentleman assembles the hot dog.

Hmm...three words: "Rotate the stock!"

Oh my, it doesn't look very good and it appears to have exploded at either end.

I took one bite and about threw up. I decided to leave the other 75 cents worth of the hot dog here, maybe somebody else will want it. See you all tomorrow!

El Sombrero/The Hat
108 Stanton St. (@Ludlow St.)
212-254-4188

Further Reading: Grub Street, Too Much Glass and Lost City (Third photo down.)

Hats off to Larry,
He broke your heart,
Just like you broke mine when you,
Said we must part.

Surprise link, click on it, I dare you!

---------------------------------
This Week's Questionable Link!
It's time for another round of questions between DJ Gidget and myself over at her blog, check it out here! If you liked last week's ketchup post, I think you'll get a kick out of it! And don't forget to tune in to the "Secret Weapon" on Woody Radio, where "Boris" picks the tunes and DJ Gidget spins them, go listen, it's on the air now!

---------------------------------
Bonus CBBM Mutation Sighting by Ragin' RR!
Ever wonder what happened to commenter and quote giver, ragin' rr? Well, he's still here, behind the scenes, his home computer blew up and he can't comment till he puts it back together again. But he's still reading and he sent in this scary CBBM sight of how they breed. CBBM porn. It never ends!

---------------------------------
An International CBBM Sighting by Lex!
My friend and guest star on both the 365 Bars and MAD blogs (she's rumored to maybe making an appearance here on TWM in June, stay tuned!) was recently on vacation in the Galapagos Islands and saw this frightening sight when she was out to eat! The world is not safe anymore, I'd say run and hide, but it's apparent that's just not an option anymore. Lay down and accept your doom quietly. Aaahhh!

---------------------------------

Bonus Cartoon By Jaws!

Jaws the Cabbie sent in this cartoon to cheer me up after my bad barber experience, thanks Jaws!

Manitoba's

New York City has a ton of bars and some of those bars have great jukeboxes. I thought every couple of weeks I’d visit one and spotlight the jukebox there. Tonight’s destination not only houses a great jukebox, it’s owned by the legendary, proto-punk lead singer of the Dictators and Sirius radio host, Handsome Dick Manitoba. When my friends, Britta and Tom came to town last year, we stopped for a drink at Manitoba’s and met Handsome Dick and took a photo with him. Let’s go see if he’s there tonight!

And we're off, we'll take the familiar trek down 14th Street to the East Village.

One of the great things about Manitoba's is that it's just a few blocks from Tompkins Square Bagels! Let's go get something to eat.

Here's Juan making my sandwich, everyone in here is always very friendly.

The sandwich was delicious...

And moments later my friend Shawn appeared, always great to see him!

After my sandwich, TSB owner Chris, took Shawn and I downstairs to see the bagels as they are hand-rolled by an expert.

Chris introduced us to Celestino who hand rolls each and every bagel for the shop. There's an art to this and Celestino has been doing it for years.

It's amazing how fast he can roll and entire tray of bagels from the raw dough. These are ready for the ovens and I'm ready for a drink or three!

And here we are, Manitoba's on Avenue B.

It's early on a Monday evening, so there's plenty of seats at the bar.

Sean's the bartender on duty and he happily serves up a bottle of Budweiser. He said we had just missed seeing Handsome Dick, he had just left to go do his radio show. Oh well, maybe next time!

A "Welcome to Manitoba's" sign is painted above the bar.

And below it is Handsome Dick merchandise piled above the vintage jukebox.

Here's a long shot of the wooden bar.

We didn't sit at the bar though, we got a table in the back because we were joined by...

Goggla! It appears we've got a mini cash mob going on here at Manitoba's!

Okay, time to check out the jukebox in the back.

It's not the fanciest or most complex jukebox in town, but it's stocked with some great tunes from AC-DC to Johnny Cash to Frank Sinatra to, of course, The Dictators. Let's crank out some songs on this, click on the following links and you can listen to the tunes I picked: The Damned, Johnny and June Carter Cash, Cheap Trick, The Kinks, The Beatles...

Louis Prima, Merle Haggard, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Jett and of course, The Dictators!

Tina put on some songs after I did. I asked if she had a favorite song on Manitoba's jukebox and she just said, "All of them." I agree! Great selection of songs to be listened to in here.

In addition to the jukebox, the walls are plastered with classic rock and roll photos, most of them from the late '70's punk era. That Handsome Dick was a part of.

Here's Handsome Dick and Joan Jett back in the day.

Gabba Gabba Hey, it's the Ramones!

Here's a signed record sleeve from Little Steven. It says, "To Handsome Dick, Who Loves Ya?"

This is a classic shot of Handsome Dick and a friend in front of CBGB's. My photo is a little fuzzy, click here to see the photo in all its glory.

A framed cover of Punk Magazine featuring the Dictators.

I love the hand-painted bathroom doors in here.

And one glance out the window and it's time to call it a night.

And as I venture out, I see the night has fallen on Manhattan, you got to love that! See you tomorrow!

Manitoba's
99 Ave. B (Near 6th St.)
212-982-2511

Further Reading: Rolling Stone, All Music and Maniblog.

I live for cars and girls,
There's nothing else in this crazy world,
Except for cars and girls.

Surprise link, click on it, I dare you!